I was in an awesome L.D.S. ward in Salt Lake City. It felt like out in the mission field, a family of Friends. When I was put into the Relief Society Presidency I saw things happen that most people don't see behind the scenes. We would hear about someone with a need...women had already come to her aide without being asked. So, it was an amazing group of awesome folks. Last year two stakes in the inner city were dissolved. In the process the surrounding stakes had to take up the slack and take these extra individuals into our boundaries. In the process our boundaries had to change. We actually had converts in our ward that had never seen a ward boundary change, tension was building and people were panicking. One of the gals in our presidency was so scared that she was going to be cut out of our ward with the cuts. It is hard being in limbo not knowing which way it was going to be divided. People would take me aside and say," since you are in the presidency tell me what is going to happen". And of course we knew NOTHING! But, I was feeling it too. Change is hard. The future Relief Society Presidency called us into a meeting, so that they would be prepared to handle the possible upcoming influx and be able to know in advance who may need help coming their way. They were also concerned because of Large and Spacious building we lived in, how would all those people blend in with the lower income members of their ward. We assured them that it wasn't like that at all, these were loving kind humble members that just happened to live in this taller building.
So the change was made, it was great to not be in limbo anymore and wondering for months and months about the changes. I was SO grateful for Bishop Garbett and his wife and their service to our ward. His manner was so loving and kind and many wonderful blessings came from their leadership.
I went to the first meeting our new Bisphop was great and funny, I decided to go out and be very friendly to all the new people that I met that first Sunday. I walked into the chapel and saw two grey haired people from behind. I assumed that they were a couple sitting next to each other. Sooo I went and sat in front of them and turned around to see an 85 year old women and I thought the younger man was either her husband (she then being a cougar).....or it was her son. I said "HI my name is Cindy." She said "My name is Eve"...so I turned to him and said "You must be Adam!" He laughed and said "my name is Darrell, and this my my neighbor Eve." Then as the rest of the three hours went on, I was sociable and happy to meet the new members. It wasn't our old ward, but it felt good to be there. This was a new building for all of us....the Stake Center location was odd for all of us, not knowing where to go. But as the weeks went on it got more familiar.
Darrell came up and said Hi and called me by name in the next few weeks. I was surprised that he remembered my name....and all I could remember was ADAM...I'm not great at names, but I remember other details, like clothes, jobs, location met etc. A few weeks later I was at the church cleaning on an early Saturday morning after I rolled out of bed...and there was Darrell again sitting in the Relief Society room looking at his ipad,...he was dressed nicely like church clothes. I couldn't figure out why he wasn't cleaning??? I went up to say Hi, and then he explained that he was in charge of the baptisms, he they showed me how he filled the font and made sure it was a comfortable temperature for the fathers and children. Later I was cleaning rooms with Kay Rich and we saw a loose open wire hanging near the drapes which made me feel worried for fire danger. I told the man in charge of the cleaners. He then went and got Darrell, who came and checked it out and ran home (across the street to the apartments that he managed) he came back with some electrical tape and fixed the wire. That was impressive to me that he took care of it immediately!
Meanwhile my cousin's Daughter Tauna Lewis called me. She had seen some of the things I had been creating and doing on facebook. She wanted suggestions for a wedding luncheon location for her son, they were getting sealed in the Salt Lake Temple and then everyone had to drive down to Parowan Utah for the evening wedding reception. We talked about locations, and then I suggested a box lunch for them to pick up and drive to southern Utah. The numbers were about 65 at the time, I said why don't we have it at my Condo social room, some light decor and hand over a cute box lunch to get them on their way. Then the numbers jumped to around 125 people....and they wanted to relax and mingle...Tauna called back and asked if it was possible to reserve Aunt Edith's old ward house. I told her that it was actually my new ward, and I knew the scheduling guy personally and called Darrell to see if it was possible to get that date for her event.
He called back soon and told me I could have that date and that he would move the dance and exercise classes somewhere else in the building so we could have that room. Then, at that point I remembered his handyman experience....I asked him if he would mind looking at some old round fluorescent lights that were burning out. He very nicely said he would be happy to take care of that for me. We set an appointment for him to come visit. When I got home from cleaning in my stinkie, sweaty, work clothes, I had my hair up in a bun, looking very horrible in my opinion. He was in the lobby waiting for me, he showed up early. Which I really appreciated, I like when people are on time! I assisted him by handing over tools, nuts and bolts etc while he did all the physical work. ceilings can be a pain working above your head the whole time and the ceiling is hot too. He said it was great to have an assistant. after he was all finished I got us both a big glass of ice water. I didn't have anything else exciting in the fridge. We sat and talked for 3 hours and it felt like 10 minutes. after he left I felt impressed about him, he was so easy to talk to and sooo nice.
The next day he called apologetically not wanting to bother me and to see if I wanted to go to an event with him and his best friend and his wife that we had talked about the day before. I said SURE I would really enjoy that. He also suggested that we go out to dinner beforehand to grab a bite. We went to a really nice Italian restaurant at City Creek Center. High class with linen table cloths, it was so fun and very comfortable being with him..Then we went over to the conference center to see BYU's Vocal Point. It was really fun, we had a wonderful thing happening right before our very own eyes and everyone else on facebook that had been following us.
Turns out he was very impressed with me and my funny ADAM comment from day one at the new church was last year November 15, 2015. He had been watching me and decided to build a great friendship first and see how it went. He hadn't dated in 8 years and had been hoping God would put a gal in his lap, cause he had tried and tried on his own and it wasn't working. I had been dating a ton of rude, condescending men who were very late, cheap and unappreciative of being with me. and I said if God wanted me to meet someone, he was gonna have to throw him across my path. So our love story had begun, my friend Michelle Herzog said, if we had to divide our wonderful previous ward to make this happen, she would take the bullet for it. When other members found out what had happened after the stressful ward division, they were happy for the sacrifice too. And I am very grateful, blessing DO come from hard things, you just have to watch for them to happen before your eyes!
Tuesday, April 26, 2016
Sunday, September 28, 2014
Coveting of the Lays Vinegar Chips
I live in a high rise downtown.....it is pretty awesome.....it feels like walking into a hotel, every time I come up from the parking garage. Best thing is..... there is no more mowing the lawn, repairs, scraping my car on snowy days and other things a homeowner would have to take care of. Most of the people here are retired and have lived very interesting lives, they are active and I hang out with quite a few of them socially....It is a pleasure living here, and.....I love my landlord (Mom)....haha.
One Friday after a long day of work.....payday.....and the Landlord was coming to sleep over.....(sidebar, my cousin Carol Lee was retired from the Tabernacle Choir and they were having a big "to do" for the other members going out) It was going to be a huge weekend of events and party for her, so we invited Mom to come up for the weekend, instead of driving her back and forth.
I had gone to the store to purchase food items and treats for this special weekend. I noticed chips were on sale so I grabbed 2 bags of Lays Vinegar Chips. Sage and I love to each have our own bag while watching a movie....yum memories of fish and chips in London many many moons ago during another life. Also the rule with my kids has always been on treats.... they can ONLY be consumed when we are having a family activity or movie night.....otherwise the treat cubboard would always be empty! I was so glad of the timing of payday, things had been tight and I had been sewing and doing any other odd jobs for folks to pay bills and such. We usually don't spend too much on luxuries as this...mind you we are happy, but things are tight.....and by the grace of God we get by each month.
Our place has shopping carts down in the garage, so when you do have things to tote from the car, or the storage units downstairs, it is SO convenient to just grab a cart and throw everything in. By the time I got to the elevators there were all ready other folks on, they squeezed over happily and I slid in. My neighbor was perusing my cart, she was all happy and upbeat and smiling and said....oh I see you are having a party....I said well my Mom is coming into town and I wanted to have supplies for tomorrow.....NO party tonight, I will probably just have a peanut butter sandwich because Sage is working late and I am all by myself. Everyone else chuckled on the peanut butter part.
I took all my items into the condo and got everything put away. Got the cart back down stairs in the cart parking and came back upstairs. And proceeded to get ready to relax for the night and make my peanut butter sandwich and possibly do a bit more sewing.
Suddenly there was a knock at the door.....the same happy/ enthusiastic/chipper lady from the elevator was knocking at my door.....she had this totally sad look on her face and stood there in a sad heap....she said "I am so tired!!!" I said "I'm so sorry" and then waited to see what was next....she said " I noticed you had 2 bags of vinegar chips in your cart, (BTW she had just come home from her job and has a husband that also works at a job.....that is 2 incomes.....haha I notice these things since I am paying my way by myself) "we are having hotdogs tonight and those chips would go great with our dinner", (here's the part where i'm thinking....oh how nice, she is going to invite me to dinner and ask me to bring a bag of chips...since I announced I'm having a peanut butter sandwich) she proceeds to tell me her tale of whoa..."I am tooooo tired to go to the store to get chips and I wanted to know if you will give me one bag of those chips, It will go great with our dinner.....is that too wierd to ask?" I explained that I am on a tight budget and these chips are special for my daughter and I to watch movies together....it's a tradition that we have.
She then proceeded to explain she really needed those chips .....and if I would give her the whole bag NOW, she would buy me another bag tomorrow/Saturday and give it to me, it was just too far tonight for her to go to the store....( the store is 4 blocks away).
Usually when I have lived in other places....Herriman and Richfield my neighbors and I have gone back and forth borrowing an egg, vinegar, odd spices for recipes that we forgot at the store, or thought we had on hand....You happily give it over, knowing that you can ask them for something at a later date....I can remember separating eggs once for a girlfriend to help out and sent my kid running with a ziplock bag asap. Those were the days....
But this time it really was rubbing me the wrong way, the acting show,(I realized later this was all part of the dramatization of her getting what she wants) the insisting on not leaving my doorway until she got what she wanted and RIGHT NOW.....also being that we lived in the same building, I would have to run into this person all the time....so I succumbed and handed over the whole bag of chips. After I closed the door I was SO UPSET.....I was mad at myself for giving in, and not just getting a zip lock and giving out a portion....durrr....I was consumed with my own dumbness for handing it over because of her little tantrum.
I told Mom the story when we picked her up, now she is VERY kind unlike myself and would have handed over the chips....but, even she said that the way it was done kinda upset her also. It was the principle, I told the girls at work, just for something funny to share and try to make our days there fun...two of the gals on our team...lovely black ladies who have been to fun to get to know, one had a cane to walk, she said she would go "take care of things" with her cane, the other checked back every day...."did you get your chips???"
Well after 6 days and NO chip replacement, my pod pal got pretty upset, she said "I think you should write a note and tape it on her door and ask for your chips...because she promised to replace the very next day". I said that would look wierd to my other neighbors...there goes Cindy the chip freak....haha. But, I did remember an email address, so I emailed her and told her our movie night was coming up and I really needed those chips.....turns out her email was her husbands (a very kindly fellow, just like his mother who I really have enjoyed knowing...she told me amazing stories about living out of the country and literally starving during the war, she said her own children never have gone hungry because of what she went through as a young woman)....he texted me immediately and said the chips would be replaced that very day.....not sure what was said behind closed doors, but the chips, an odd book about virtues from St Francis of Assisi & others hung in a bag with a note that simply said "thanks for sharing, god bless."
It was just relief to get those chips....I know I now sound like "Cindy the chip freak", but I was glad to see them hanging on the door when I got home.....luckily they were planning on moving into a home elsewhere....so shortly after the incident they were on to another life and hopefully she will be better, not so demanding to get her way.....I would have never posted this if they still lived in the building & now they can still have their anonymity and frankly if she had invited me over for a hotdog dinner, it probably wouldn't have been such a big deal....
When I went to put the chips in the cubboard there was another bag of chips....sweet Sage had taken her own money and gone to the store and replaced the lost bag.....at least I have raised great kids better than myself....and we were able to have our movie night and our chips to much on.
One Friday after a long day of work.....payday.....and the Landlord was coming to sleep over.....(sidebar, my cousin Carol Lee was retired from the Tabernacle Choir and they were having a big "to do" for the other members going out) It was going to be a huge weekend of events and party for her, so we invited Mom to come up for the weekend, instead of driving her back and forth.
I had gone to the store to purchase food items and treats for this special weekend. I noticed chips were on sale so I grabbed 2 bags of Lays Vinegar Chips. Sage and I love to each have our own bag while watching a movie....yum memories of fish and chips in London many many moons ago during another life. Also the rule with my kids has always been on treats.... they can ONLY be consumed when we are having a family activity or movie night.....otherwise the treat cubboard would always be empty! I was so glad of the timing of payday, things had been tight and I had been sewing and doing any other odd jobs for folks to pay bills and such. We usually don't spend too much on luxuries as this...mind you we are happy, but things are tight.....and by the grace of God we get by each month.
Our place has shopping carts down in the garage, so when you do have things to tote from the car, or the storage units downstairs, it is SO convenient to just grab a cart and throw everything in. By the time I got to the elevators there were all ready other folks on, they squeezed over happily and I slid in. My neighbor was perusing my cart, she was all happy and upbeat and smiling and said....oh I see you are having a party....I said well my Mom is coming into town and I wanted to have supplies for tomorrow.....NO party tonight, I will probably just have a peanut butter sandwich because Sage is working late and I am all by myself. Everyone else chuckled on the peanut butter part.
I took all my items into the condo and got everything put away. Got the cart back down stairs in the cart parking and came back upstairs. And proceeded to get ready to relax for the night and make my peanut butter sandwich and possibly do a bit more sewing.
Suddenly there was a knock at the door.....the same happy/ enthusiastic/chipper lady from the elevator was knocking at my door.....she had this totally sad look on her face and stood there in a sad heap....she said "I am so tired!!!" I said "I'm so sorry" and then waited to see what was next....she said " I noticed you had 2 bags of vinegar chips in your cart, (BTW she had just come home from her job and has a husband that also works at a job.....that is 2 incomes.....haha I notice these things since I am paying my way by myself) "we are having hotdogs tonight and those chips would go great with our dinner", (here's the part where i'm thinking....oh how nice, she is going to invite me to dinner and ask me to bring a bag of chips...since I announced I'm having a peanut butter sandwich) she proceeds to tell me her tale of whoa..."I am tooooo tired to go to the store to get chips and I wanted to know if you will give me one bag of those chips, It will go great with our dinner.....is that too wierd to ask?" I explained that I am on a tight budget and these chips are special for my daughter and I to watch movies together....it's a tradition that we have.
She then proceeded to explain she really needed those chips .....and if I would give her the whole bag NOW, she would buy me another bag tomorrow/Saturday and give it to me, it was just too far tonight for her to go to the store....( the store is 4 blocks away).
Usually when I have lived in other places....Herriman and Richfield my neighbors and I have gone back and forth borrowing an egg, vinegar, odd spices for recipes that we forgot at the store, or thought we had on hand....You happily give it over, knowing that you can ask them for something at a later date....I can remember separating eggs once for a girlfriend to help out and sent my kid running with a ziplock bag asap. Those were the days....
But this time it really was rubbing me the wrong way, the acting show,(I realized later this was all part of the dramatization of her getting what she wants) the insisting on not leaving my doorway until she got what she wanted and RIGHT NOW.....also being that we lived in the same building, I would have to run into this person all the time....so I succumbed and handed over the whole bag of chips. After I closed the door I was SO UPSET.....I was mad at myself for giving in, and not just getting a zip lock and giving out a portion....durrr....I was consumed with my own dumbness for handing it over because of her little tantrum.
I told Mom the story when we picked her up, now she is VERY kind unlike myself and would have handed over the chips....but, even she said that the way it was done kinda upset her also. It was the principle, I told the girls at work, just for something funny to share and try to make our days there fun...two of the gals on our team...lovely black ladies who have been to fun to get to know, one had a cane to walk, she said she would go "take care of things" with her cane, the other checked back every day...."did you get your chips???"
Well after 6 days and NO chip replacement, my pod pal got pretty upset, she said "I think you should write a note and tape it on her door and ask for your chips...because she promised to replace the very next day". I said that would look wierd to my other neighbors...there goes Cindy the chip freak....haha. But, I did remember an email address, so I emailed her and told her our movie night was coming up and I really needed those chips.....turns out her email was her husbands (a very kindly fellow, just like his mother who I really have enjoyed knowing...she told me amazing stories about living out of the country and literally starving during the war, she said her own children never have gone hungry because of what she went through as a young woman)....he texted me immediately and said the chips would be replaced that very day.....not sure what was said behind closed doors, but the chips, an odd book about virtues from St Francis of Assisi & others hung in a bag with a note that simply said "thanks for sharing, god bless."
It was just relief to get those chips....I know I now sound like "Cindy the chip freak", but I was glad to see them hanging on the door when I got home.....luckily they were planning on moving into a home elsewhere....so shortly after the incident they were on to another life and hopefully she will be better, not so demanding to get her way.....I would have never posted this if they still lived in the building & now they can still have their anonymity and frankly if she had invited me over for a hotdog dinner, it probably wouldn't have been such a big deal....
When I went to put the chips in the cubboard there was another bag of chips....sweet Sage had taken her own money and gone to the store and replaced the lost bag.....at least I have raised great kids better than myself....and we were able to have our movie night and our chips to much on.
Sunday, June 12, 2011
A Day at the DMV.....3 hours later....felt like a whole day!
Thursday last week, I had a leiu day from work. So, that was one whole day to do whatever I want. Essentially I cram in as much stuff as I can, to make up for the days I can't get anything done 8-5pm with work.
I told my daughter Sage," you be studying up, so we can go get your Learner's Permit". She had tried 5 times with no luck. She has a bit of test anxiety that makes it very difficult to retain the info in a stressful situation. Her Dad made her a study book, with a very artistic cover, she was very proud of it, and used it quite a bit to help her gain the knowledge for the test. (I knew if we didn't get it this time, it would be a long time before I would get another convenient opportunity to do this for a while.) As we got ready to walk out the door I said "let's say a prayer, you have really studied hard this time, now we will ask Heavenly Father to help you get the right answers to pass the test."
We drove over to the new DMV just off I-15 and Bangerter Highway. It is very nice, and one of my girlfriends from Provo High School Days works there too! So, I try to get in a quick Hello, when she doesn't have another customer to help. We got in line, filled out the long form, measured her height on the wall and went to the first check in person to get ready to go to the other side of the room where the testing computers awaited her arrival.
Sage went to take the test for the 6th time, I sat down to wait, and make phone calls and organize my schedule for the day. I told her to take her time and really think about the answers that are wrong for sure, and then try to decide from the others left to determine the correct answer. She smiled and went over to take the test happily. After she got all done, the Test giving guy came over to inform us, that she was SO close, but because it had been so long since we last paid, we would have to pay the $15. fee again. We had a hunch, so we had gathered all our many many coins and last few dollar bills in a Tupperware container for the payment. The Test Guy was very nice about it....I said how close was she? He said "VERY close, and I'll just call this one a "sample test", so that it wouldn't count and she would be able to take the test two more times that day IF needed.....which was very nice, I might add!
So, we got back in line again, and filled out the long form, incase they needed it. We got our number and went to wait again, for about another half hour. This time we were sent to another older gentleman in another area....the paying area. I took out the Tupperware and set it on the counter, all ready to make the payment, the counting of coinage, the clink clink of stacking the moolah....(I digress!)
That guy took one look at the Tupperware and said "you're not going to pay me with that are you!" I said "yes, I am....I'm a poor single mother...this is all we had today. Then, he got mad and said, "why didn't you stop at Coinstar and exchange them?". I said "there wasn't time....anyway we are in a recession, I work at the movie theatre and I take pennies from customers all the time, we only had quarters, dimes and nickels, NO pennies!" He said "well you should have stopped and changed your money." I said "I AM going to pay with this, and when you go to the watercooler with your co-workers after I leave you will have a story to tell at my expense!"
I did stay calm, because I knew this would be putting much stress on Sage with her having to take the test again. He was STILL MAD! He said to Sage "put your head up to that machine and read me the letters." He didn't make it very clear which line to read and the machine was tilted way too high, so she read him the wrong line, he got mad and said "DO YOU NEED GLASSES?" We both said NO. Then he said ''WELL YOU GOT IT WRONG, READ IT TO ME AGAIN." Luckily this time she got it right, meanwhile the Test Guy came and brought over all her paperwork, and I said quietly...."this guy is not being very nice and I am worried it is going to make it really hard for her to take the test again."
Then, I said to the older gentleman "you know this has been a pretty tough week, my home went into foreclosure and I lost all my inheritance, and we are doing the best we can here today, I'm sorry about the coins, but, I will count them all out for you so you won't have to do that part." He said "That is NOT my problem, my wife left me after 32 years of marriage, and this is NOT the life I planned out." I said "I am so sorry, but if you try hard you can find something good in everyday, it IS there if you look for it. I have had a hard few years too, but, I am nice to all the people I take care of at my job."
I counted out all the coins, and few bills left, and he loudly threw them into his till and said "I hope I balance at the end of the day" and I said "you will!" He was still very upset about the coins, he insisted on a debit card, which Sage's Dad had provided for her out in the car, but after his attitude, and the line, there was NO way I was going to have her go get that card. (And, frankly money is money, by law he has to accept the cash, even if it was all in pennies, which one of my sewing clients informed me later that day, when I went over to alter some suits for his work and take a quilt for their son over.)
So the older gentleman gave us a receit and Sage went to take the test again, I could tell she was close to tears, I said "no matter what he said, you just remember what you studied and we said a prayer so just do your best to take that test again, you will be fine."
I went back to my seat and then I thought, this was not the proper way to take care of customers, so I went over to the boss and very quietly told her what had come down, I said "I don't want this guy to loose his job, but customer service is very important, I do realize he has had some personal issues of his own, but..... this can be stressful to the people who need to go take their tests also, he needs to take better care of his customers."
Mean while... the older gentleman went over to the test guy and said in a very loud voice while giving Sage a dirty look...."That WAS a nightmare!" Of course by then, she was totally tramatized, I wasn't sure she would be able to concentrate at all. I waited and waited and finally she came up to me sobbing "I didn't pass!" I said" do you want to take it one more time? " She said "NO!"
I said"wait here", and started to go over to the test guy to see what we could do. He knew the whole situation by then, we had been there for 3 hours going thru this whole process. He gave me the "come here" with his forefinger....and then said in a loud voice, "SAGE, SAGE...come here. He held up her certificate and said loudly "Congratulations!"( I guess he had asked her verbally the two questions she had missed, and she got them right.) By then we both started crying, I said "Thank-you, thank you!" and we left the building. As we walked to the car I said "well, our prayer WAS answered today, you got your learners permit, if it hadn't have been for the mean guy, you may not have been able to pass today, sometimes bad things happen, so good things can happen too." And we both agreed, I asked her if she wanted to drive, she said "NO!"...but, later that day, after eating something, she felt alot better and drove me to Federal Heights to the client appointment, and she did VERY well I might add!
I told my daughter Sage," you be studying up, so we can go get your Learner's Permit". She had tried 5 times with no luck. She has a bit of test anxiety that makes it very difficult to retain the info in a stressful situation. Her Dad made her a study book, with a very artistic cover, she was very proud of it, and used it quite a bit to help her gain the knowledge for the test. (I knew if we didn't get it this time, it would be a long time before I would get another convenient opportunity to do this for a while.) As we got ready to walk out the door I said "let's say a prayer, you have really studied hard this time, now we will ask Heavenly Father to help you get the right answers to pass the test."
We drove over to the new DMV just off I-15 and Bangerter Highway. It is very nice, and one of my girlfriends from Provo High School Days works there too! So, I try to get in a quick Hello, when she doesn't have another customer to help. We got in line, filled out the long form, measured her height on the wall and went to the first check in person to get ready to go to the other side of the room where the testing computers awaited her arrival.
Sage went to take the test for the 6th time, I sat down to wait, and make phone calls and organize my schedule for the day. I told her to take her time and really think about the answers that are wrong for sure, and then try to decide from the others left to determine the correct answer. She smiled and went over to take the test happily. After she got all done, the Test giving guy came over to inform us, that she was SO close, but because it had been so long since we last paid, we would have to pay the $15. fee again. We had a hunch, so we had gathered all our many many coins and last few dollar bills in a Tupperware container for the payment. The Test Guy was very nice about it....I said how close was she? He said "VERY close, and I'll just call this one a "sample test", so that it wouldn't count and she would be able to take the test two more times that day IF needed.....which was very nice, I might add!
So, we got back in line again, and filled out the long form, incase they needed it. We got our number and went to wait again, for about another half hour. This time we were sent to another older gentleman in another area....the paying area. I took out the Tupperware and set it on the counter, all ready to make the payment, the counting of coinage, the clink clink of stacking the moolah....(I digress!)
That guy took one look at the Tupperware and said "you're not going to pay me with that are you!" I said "yes, I am....I'm a poor single mother...this is all we had today. Then, he got mad and said, "why didn't you stop at Coinstar and exchange them?". I said "there wasn't time....anyway we are in a recession, I work at the movie theatre and I take pennies from customers all the time, we only had quarters, dimes and nickels, NO pennies!" He said "well you should have stopped and changed your money." I said "I AM going to pay with this, and when you go to the watercooler with your co-workers after I leave you will have a story to tell at my expense!"
I did stay calm, because I knew this would be putting much stress on Sage with her having to take the test again. He was STILL MAD! He said to Sage "put your head up to that machine and read me the letters." He didn't make it very clear which line to read and the machine was tilted way too high, so she read him the wrong line, he got mad and said "DO YOU NEED GLASSES?" We both said NO. Then he said ''WELL YOU GOT IT WRONG, READ IT TO ME AGAIN." Luckily this time she got it right, meanwhile the Test Guy came and brought over all her paperwork, and I said quietly...."this guy is not being very nice and I am worried it is going to make it really hard for her to take the test again."
Then, I said to the older gentleman "you know this has been a pretty tough week, my home went into foreclosure and I lost all my inheritance, and we are doing the best we can here today, I'm sorry about the coins, but, I will count them all out for you so you won't have to do that part." He said "That is NOT my problem, my wife left me after 32 years of marriage, and this is NOT the life I planned out." I said "I am so sorry, but if you try hard you can find something good in everyday, it IS there if you look for it. I have had a hard few years too, but, I am nice to all the people I take care of at my job."
I counted out all the coins, and few bills left, and he loudly threw them into his till and said "I hope I balance at the end of the day" and I said "you will!" He was still very upset about the coins, he insisted on a debit card, which Sage's Dad had provided for her out in the car, but after his attitude, and the line, there was NO way I was going to have her go get that card. (And, frankly money is money, by law he has to accept the cash, even if it was all in pennies, which one of my sewing clients informed me later that day, when I went over to alter some suits for his work and take a quilt for their son over.)
So the older gentleman gave us a receit and Sage went to take the test again, I could tell she was close to tears, I said "no matter what he said, you just remember what you studied and we said a prayer so just do your best to take that test again, you will be fine."
I went back to my seat and then I thought, this was not the proper way to take care of customers, so I went over to the boss and very quietly told her what had come down, I said "I don't want this guy to loose his job, but customer service is very important, I do realize he has had some personal issues of his own, but..... this can be stressful to the people who need to go take their tests also, he needs to take better care of his customers."
Mean while... the older gentleman went over to the test guy and said in a very loud voice while giving Sage a dirty look...."That WAS a nightmare!" Of course by then, she was totally tramatized, I wasn't sure she would be able to concentrate at all. I waited and waited and finally she came up to me sobbing "I didn't pass!" I said" do you want to take it one more time? " She said "NO!"
I said"wait here", and started to go over to the test guy to see what we could do. He knew the whole situation by then, we had been there for 3 hours going thru this whole process. He gave me the "come here" with his forefinger....and then said in a loud voice, "SAGE, SAGE...come here. He held up her certificate and said loudly "Congratulations!"( I guess he had asked her verbally the two questions she had missed, and she got them right.) By then we both started crying, I said "Thank-you, thank you!" and we left the building. As we walked to the car I said "well, our prayer WAS answered today, you got your learners permit, if it hadn't have been for the mean guy, you may not have been able to pass today, sometimes bad things happen, so good things can happen too." And we both agreed, I asked her if she wanted to drive, she said "NO!"...but, later that day, after eating something, she felt alot better and drove me to Federal Heights to the client appointment, and she did VERY well I might add!
Full Conversion Brings Happiness...June 2011 talk in Church
June 12, 2011
To give a brief intro to myself for all the new folks in the ward. My name is Cindy Garrard. My Daughter Sage and I moved into the Farmgate Apartments Last January, we have been here about a year and half. She is 17 and I also have a 19 year old Son Daniel that lives with his Dad.
I used to work full time as a Home Design Seamstress, and then the recession hit, so I had to get what I call "a real job" at Discover in their Customer Service Department. I work part time at the Megaplex 20 on the weekends, where I've seen many of you for the first time selling you your movie tickets, and I still sew part time a few days a week.
I was born in California, and raised most my life in Utah, Although i have lived in South Royalton Vermont, Jerusalem Israel,Tacoma Washington, Allbuquerque New Mexico, St. George, Richfield and now Herriman.
Last week as I was sitting in Sacrament meeting, I had a hunch I was going to have to speak, so when Brother Crane called, I almost started laughing because I knew what he was going to say. Then Sage was pointing her finger at me and laughing....until I said "do you need Sage to talk too?.....but lucky for her, she just spoke one month ago....but....that quieted her down REAL quick!
Brother Crane asked me to speak on this topic from Elder RIchard G. Scott's Conference talk from 2002.
Full Conversion Brings Happiness.
I think this is a great topic for all of us, It is good to get a refresher on the way we should be living, to keep us on track. With the fast pace of life these days, and all the temptations thrown right in our faces with the media, basically in our very own pockets, it is very hard for some to live fully committed to the gospel principles each day. I know at both my jobs working with "the kids" as I call them....they are pulled in so many directions, and there are more members I'm sure NOT living the gospel as they should, almost doing all they can to show us they Don't want to be known as members.
I got on the 4th floor elevator the other day, and I was talking to a newlywed guy on my team, he was taking his wife to the Temple, and I mentioned that I was going to work at the bishops storehouse that Saturday, and then the 3rd person said he was going to the temple with his wife also. And, I said "WOW" this is the first time that has ever happened....for all of us to be active LDS members on the elevator...and they looked at me rather shocked....the newlywed said "why, we live in Utah?"
But, usually there is the odor of cigarettes from those taking their break, there are people with piercings, nose rings, gages, immodest clothing and language that isn't appropriate to share over the pulpit....and other things not mentionable. It is a very worldly place. I see very few active LDS people living their lives 100%. I have tried to do what Sister Uchtdorf does, when people ask what I did or what I'm going to do for the weekend, I tell the truth: I speaking in church, I'm taking my daughter to the temple, I taught primary, I'm helping with youth conference. And yes, it isn't the popular thing they want to hear, but one lady who works with her youth in her religion, now we have a common bond.
And when someone needs a grown up to talk to about things they probably shouldn't have done at a party, I'm there to give hopefully good advise. At first they didn't want anything to do with me, now they know I do live what I say and do. It has given me some credibility and I'm able to set a good example for those around me. Some of them call me Mom, and others watch me and slowly have warmed up to the "molly mormon mentality". I know I am definately not perfect, but it is an on going process, and I am working to try better each day. And, this is why giving this talk is so helpful to me to improve and gain a stronger testimony of gospel principles, so that I can have that happiness that comes from full conversion.
Elder Scott used Elder Mack Lawrence's talks as a reference. Elder Mack quotes:
Whenever I have asked Stake Presidents about their biggest challenge or concern, they repeatedly say, "to have the Saints committed and converted so they will be faithful in keeping their covenants and fulfilling their callings.
Elder Mack also says: "a truly converted follower of Christ-one who merits the designation of disciple or Saint-could NOT be casual or complacent in his or her approach to service in the Church, nor in keeping covenants and commandments. Such a one would surely follow the Lord's admonition... "learn his or her duty, and to act....in all diligence." (D & C 107-99).
We need to live our lives fully converted to the Gospel, It isn't always easy. For me this has been a pretty tough few years. The thing that keeps me grounded is the gospel. I've had other friends go through the same thing, they drift away for a while, thinking they have earned the "right" to do some pretty crazy things because of their "situation", but inevitably they have told me.... I wish I hadn't done the things I did. I should have stayed strong.
Marion G. Romney explains conversion:
“Converted means to turn from one belief or course of action to another. Conversion is a spiritual and moral change. Converted implies not merely mental acceptance of Jesus and his teachings but also a motivating faith in him and his gospel. A faith which works a transformation, an actual change in one’s understanding of life’s meaning and in his allegiance to God in interest, in thought, and in conduct. In one who is really wholly converted, desire for things contrary to the gospel of Jesus Christ has actually died. And substituted therefore is a love of God, with a fixed and controlling determination to keep his commandments.”
Elder Scott states:
To be converted, you must remember to apply diligently in your life the key words “a love of God, with a fixed and controlling determination to keep his commandments.” Your happiness now and forever is conditioned on your degree of conversion and the transformation that it brings to your life. How then can you become truly converted?
President Romney describes the steps you must follow:
“Membership in the Church and conversion are not necessarily synonymous. Being converted and having a testimony are not necessarily the same thing either. A testimony comes when the Holy Ghost gives the earnest seeker a witness of the truth. A moving testimony vitalizes faith. That is, it induces repentance and obedience to the commandments. Conversion is the fruit or the reward for repentance and obedience.”
Stated simply, true conversion is the fruit of faith, repentance, and consistent obedience. Faith comes by hearing the word of God and responding to it. You will receive from the Holy Ghost a confirming witness of things you accept on faith by willingly doing them. You will be led to repent of errors resulting from wrong things done or right things not done. As a consequence, your capacity to consistently obey will be strengthened. This cycle of faith, repentance, and consistent obedience will lead you to greater conversion with its attendant blessings. True conversion will strengthen your capacity to do what you know you should do, when you should do it, regardless of the circumstances.
Elder Scott tells us to listen to the parable of the sower and see how it applies to our own lives....
See if there are periods when correct teachings find in you conditions unsuitable to receive them and consequently the promised fruits of happiness, peace, and progress are lost.
“The sower soweth the word. [Some sown] by the way side, … but when they have heard, Satan cometh immediately, and taketh away the word that was sown in their hearts.”
Could that happen to you, in the wrong environment, with the wrong friendships?
“[Some] on stony ground; who, when they have heard the word, immediately receive it with gladness; And have no root in themselves, and so endure but for a time: afterward, when … persecution ariseth … immediately they are offended.”
Have you ever been in a circumstance when someone proposed something inappropriate and you did nothing to resist it?
“[Some] sown among thorns; such as hear the word, And the cares of this world … and the lusts of other things entering in, choke the word, and it becometh unfruitful.”
Have there been times when you wanted something so badly that you justified an exception to your standards?
“[Some] sown on good ground; such as hear the word, and receive it, and bring forth fruit, some thirtyfold, some sixty, and some an hundred."
Elder Scott also quotes President Hinckley:
To receive the blessings promised from true conversion, make the changes that you know are needed in your life now. The Savior said: “Will ye not now return unto me, and repent of your sins, and be converted, that I may heal you? … If ye will come unto me ye shall have eternal life."
The Holy Ghost will help us find those personal changes we need to make in our own lives, and then the Lord can bless us, and we can get through these hard times that are happening to all of us right now.
Elder Scott tells us that our faith with be fortified, our capacities to repent will increase, our power to consistently obey will be reinforced.
And I love the part where he says "Do your Best".
God does love us and wants us to be happy, He will help us to accomplish these principals in our lives. The Gospel is true, our stronger degrees of conversion and transformation can and will bring much more happiness to our lives. I hope that we can live fully committed and bring God's love and strength to us all.
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
Daniel 100% all boy!
I finally became pregnant after many years of waiting. The anticipation, oh the excitement, and the huge body I was toting around. There were so many things going on, and I was still working a 60 hour week at Dixie College in southern Utah. My husband decided that we were going to have a girl, he figured that girls were easier, he had it all planned out. And, he was used to getting his way, so I went with that.
I went to the doctors office for my ultrasound. It was all so very exciting, after the first one declaring that I definately was pregnant. I could see the tiny body floating around in that little sack....pretty cool. So, this time I was extremely excited to see the outcome of the baby, what would she look like, how was everything coming along. The baby's movement was all over, I wasn't getting much sleep, things were pretty tight in there, with much kicking and rumblings from within. The doctor put on that cold slimy gel and got the thing proding all over my now HUGE bellly. He declared that he was pretty sure 95% that I was definately having a girl. I was so excited, I had my ultra sound posted on the fridge, I was now one of the "In Utah Crowd". I was producing an offspring. I couldn't be happier. I would be able to now stand proudly for my Mother's Day flower in church that next year.
The name was picked: Sage Anna Snarr. An herb for my husband, he was a health food nut! And the Anna for me, the name Agnes Anne, and Agnes Anna had been rotated for generation thru my family on my Mom's side. She being the Last Agnes Anne, and then LUCKILY I was named Cindy Anne. Mom always hated the Agnes name, her family called her Sis, so thank heavens I got a Cindy instead. So, with the name Sage....the Anna just seemed to fit!
I had made little girlie things, I had purchased the diapers, the lotions, all the potions one needs to make a baby happy. I even had little toys saved from my youthful hope chest. I was ready to go. I had a bag packed and ready for the hospital too, with all the things I thought I would need.
I was working with the senior citizen group called "elderhostel"...now called "road scholars". They came from all over the country and stayed for a week, learned about the history of southern utah, the geology of Zion National Park and when we added golf, we couldn't keep them away. So, they having been through the baby raising years. Many had opinions and helpful hints. There were a few baby doctors who had sized me up and pronounced that I was having a girl also. One even read me by the way I was carrying my load....and said girl. And the Dr. said it was definately a girl's rapid heart beat.
Well, I had worked the whole week, got to Friday and went home to take a nap, I was getting pretty tired and they scheduled me so I could do that. Soon, as I woke up and sat up, I felt a small gush of wetness. I called the Dr's. office, they said come in and they would check me out. So, I went in, the dr's office was connected to the side of the actual hospital. I put on my paper gown and layed down on the examining table. I was there a long time, I might have even fallen asleep for a few minutes. When the doctor finally came in, I said I think my water might have broke, he totally cracked up! I had no clue, he said, well you are here to stay, the nurse will take you right into the hospital and get you set up to take the petossin.
I thought....why is he laughing at me? As I sat up, the whole paper cover was soaked, I didn't realize it, cause of my size and all, I didn't notice the warm water coming out....no wonder he knew. I said to the nurse...."I don't have my bag, let me run home and get it!" She said "honey you're not going anywhere!" So, I tried to call my husband, he had gone out to the hot springs for the whole day. This was before cell phones, so the hot springs people went to tell him, he said "I'll come when she is ready!" How would he know? This was our first, this was around 3 or 4 in the afternoon....I was getting a bit panicky. I called my secretary at work, she called the hot springs and told them that "they had better get him outta there and on his way to the hospital, or he was going to miss the birth of his child, and if they didn't do it, SHE was gonna come and drag him out of there in front of everyone!" So he showed up about 1 1/2 hour later.....luckily the baby didn't come for quite a while.
Well, he showed up, and luckily my best friend was a nurse there Marsha Marsha Marsha Bee. She was awesome, she had just finished a 12 hour shift and came and spent the whole time with me. Her kids came to say hi, my husband finally showed up, came through, worked the room and then went out to get pizza, (he had had a hard day a the spa mind you!) So, he and her daughters had a pizza party in the adjoining room. I was watching "the Johhnny Carson show", things were progressing well. That medicine made me so OUCH....I finally asked to get the the big needle, Marsha Marsha Marsha held my hand...cause the hubby hadn't shown up for that part yet. I wonder how her hand even works today after I crushed it during the needle part. Labor is hard to explain unless you have gone through that, but, I honestly thought I was gonna die....So Marsha Marsha Marsha RAN to get the dr. so I could get the epidural.
And finally I was ready to deliver....My husband came towards me and screamed "come to me baby, come to me"....it was like something from the "I love Lucy show".... he was an absolute nut case, he started running around the room, I grabbed him by the collar as he whizzed by, and said "Curt you need to calm down!!!" He didn't . The doctor came in trying to be very dignified, and serious, but Curt was off his rocker....he would say.... Are you sure you want to do that? What are the salad tongs for? You're gonna cut where?
Well, finally out popped.....a lovely baby BOY....we were all in shock and laughed, this wasn't what we had expected....but, he was absolutely lovely. But, as soon as I saw him, I knew he was mine...it didn't matter that he wasn't the promised girl.....That last 5% appendage made him definately all boy. Curt went with Marsha Marsha Marsha to get him all cleaned up and weighed and measured. By the time he got back, he had calmed down a bit.....It seems he even said something funny about having "my son, my son!" They brought the baby boy to me, I don't remember ever being so happy before. We didn't know what to call him....since we didn't even consider a boy name.
Then the next day, they took Curt and the baby into the room for the circumcision. I wasn't there, but all the nurses were talking about it to me later, I guess he made a big scene in there too, and when I went in for the baby's first dr. exam......all the nurses said, Oh Mrs. Snarr.....the whole hospital is talking about the way your husband was during your baby's circumcision.....wow....I was so glad I was in the other room!
Well, we brought the baby home and finally after 2 days, I decided on a name: Daniel Douglas Snarr. After my brother Dan Garrard, Curt's best friend Dan Dixon, and the Douglas name from his family.
That baby brought me so much joy, My Mom had just finished his pink quilt the day he was born, so she luckily whipped up another one in blue....
And Daniel is for sure 100% boy. He has brought so much joy to my life, he is the smartest guy I know, and can do anything. He makes me proud, I couldn't have asked for a better son. So, proud of him....and will be sharing stories later of his life, and fun things he has done. And the best thing of all....well maybe not for him, but he looks just like me. Being adopted, I never saw anyone that looked like me before, and here was this little minaturized version of me. We used to go everywhere, do everything together, he has always been a brilliant kid, so thanks Daniel..... I LOVE YOU..... Mom!!!
I went to the doctors office for my ultrasound. It was all so very exciting, after the first one declaring that I definately was pregnant. I could see the tiny body floating around in that little sack....pretty cool. So, this time I was extremely excited to see the outcome of the baby, what would she look like, how was everything coming along. The baby's movement was all over, I wasn't getting much sleep, things were pretty tight in there, with much kicking and rumblings from within. The doctor put on that cold slimy gel and got the thing proding all over my now HUGE bellly. He declared that he was pretty sure 95% that I was definately having a girl. I was so excited, I had my ultra sound posted on the fridge, I was now one of the "In Utah Crowd". I was producing an offspring. I couldn't be happier. I would be able to now stand proudly for my Mother's Day flower in church that next year.
The name was picked: Sage Anna Snarr. An herb for my husband, he was a health food nut! And the Anna for me, the name Agnes Anne, and Agnes Anna had been rotated for generation thru my family on my Mom's side. She being the Last Agnes Anne, and then LUCKILY I was named Cindy Anne. Mom always hated the Agnes name, her family called her Sis, so thank heavens I got a Cindy instead. So, with the name Sage....the Anna just seemed to fit!
I had made little girlie things, I had purchased the diapers, the lotions, all the potions one needs to make a baby happy. I even had little toys saved from my youthful hope chest. I was ready to go. I had a bag packed and ready for the hospital too, with all the things I thought I would need.
I was working with the senior citizen group called "elderhostel"...now called "road scholars". They came from all over the country and stayed for a week, learned about the history of southern utah, the geology of Zion National Park and when we added golf, we couldn't keep them away. So, they having been through the baby raising years. Many had opinions and helpful hints. There were a few baby doctors who had sized me up and pronounced that I was having a girl also. One even read me by the way I was carrying my load....and said girl. And the Dr. said it was definately a girl's rapid heart beat.
Well, I had worked the whole week, got to Friday and went home to take a nap, I was getting pretty tired and they scheduled me so I could do that. Soon, as I woke up and sat up, I felt a small gush of wetness. I called the Dr's. office, they said come in and they would check me out. So, I went in, the dr's office was connected to the side of the actual hospital. I put on my paper gown and layed down on the examining table. I was there a long time, I might have even fallen asleep for a few minutes. When the doctor finally came in, I said I think my water might have broke, he totally cracked up! I had no clue, he said, well you are here to stay, the nurse will take you right into the hospital and get you set up to take the petossin.
I thought....why is he laughing at me? As I sat up, the whole paper cover was soaked, I didn't realize it, cause of my size and all, I didn't notice the warm water coming out....no wonder he knew. I said to the nurse...."I don't have my bag, let me run home and get it!" She said "honey you're not going anywhere!" So, I tried to call my husband, he had gone out to the hot springs for the whole day. This was before cell phones, so the hot springs people went to tell him, he said "I'll come when she is ready!" How would he know? This was our first, this was around 3 or 4 in the afternoon....I was getting a bit panicky. I called my secretary at work, she called the hot springs and told them that "they had better get him outta there and on his way to the hospital, or he was going to miss the birth of his child, and if they didn't do it, SHE was gonna come and drag him out of there in front of everyone!" So he showed up about 1 1/2 hour later.....luckily the baby didn't come for quite a while.
Well, he showed up, and luckily my best friend was a nurse there Marsha Marsha Marsha Bee. She was awesome, she had just finished a 12 hour shift and came and spent the whole time with me. Her kids came to say hi, my husband finally showed up, came through, worked the room and then went out to get pizza, (he had had a hard day a the spa mind you!) So, he and her daughters had a pizza party in the adjoining room. I was watching "the Johhnny Carson show", things were progressing well. That medicine made me so OUCH....I finally asked to get the the big needle, Marsha Marsha Marsha held my hand...cause the hubby hadn't shown up for that part yet. I wonder how her hand even works today after I crushed it during the needle part. Labor is hard to explain unless you have gone through that, but, I honestly thought I was gonna die....So Marsha Marsha Marsha RAN to get the dr. so I could get the epidural.
And finally I was ready to deliver....My husband came towards me and screamed "come to me baby, come to me"....it was like something from the "I love Lucy show".... he was an absolute nut case, he started running around the room, I grabbed him by the collar as he whizzed by, and said "Curt you need to calm down!!!" He didn't . The doctor came in trying to be very dignified, and serious, but Curt was off his rocker....he would say.... Are you sure you want to do that? What are the salad tongs for? You're gonna cut where?
Well, finally out popped.....a lovely baby BOY....we were all in shock and laughed, this wasn't what we had expected....but, he was absolutely lovely. But, as soon as I saw him, I knew he was mine...it didn't matter that he wasn't the promised girl.....That last 5% appendage made him definately all boy. Curt went with Marsha Marsha Marsha to get him all cleaned up and weighed and measured. By the time he got back, he had calmed down a bit.....It seems he even said something funny about having "my son, my son!" They brought the baby boy to me, I don't remember ever being so happy before. We didn't know what to call him....since we didn't even consider a boy name.
Then the next day, they took Curt and the baby into the room for the circumcision. I wasn't there, but all the nurses were talking about it to me later, I guess he made a big scene in there too, and when I went in for the baby's first dr. exam......all the nurses said, Oh Mrs. Snarr.....the whole hospital is talking about the way your husband was during your baby's circumcision.....wow....I was so glad I was in the other room!
Well, we brought the baby home and finally after 2 days, I decided on a name: Daniel Douglas Snarr. After my brother Dan Garrard, Curt's best friend Dan Dixon, and the Douglas name from his family.
That baby brought me so much joy, My Mom had just finished his pink quilt the day he was born, so she luckily whipped up another one in blue....
And Daniel is for sure 100% boy. He has brought so much joy to my life, he is the smartest guy I know, and can do anything. He makes me proud, I couldn't have asked for a better son. So, proud of him....and will be sharing stories later of his life, and fun things he has done. And the best thing of all....well maybe not for him, but he looks just like me. Being adopted, I never saw anyone that looked like me before, and here was this little minaturized version of me. We used to go everywhere, do everything together, he has always been a brilliant kid, so thanks Daniel..... I LOVE YOU..... Mom!!!
Sunday, May 1, 2011
Dating again.....YES....NO........OK...I think I can!!!
I got up at 3:30 a.m. Friday April 29th, 2011 and watched the Royal Wedding of William and Katharine...it was beautiful and very romantic, you could tell from their lip-read comments to each other that they were VERY in love....and dolefully it reminded me that "Ugh, I'm in the dating scene again".
At this age (which I won't reveal!) it has become very difficult to meet what I will call "worthy" men. It seems that the playing field has shrunk by leaps and bounds. And....being at my height 5'11''....it makes the choices even fewer and far between. I have talked to my friends, explained my situation and wants.....not necessarily a list of looks besides the height factor, but a want list of I feel of normal things that anyone would expect of a partner in life. Stable, kind, loves kids, Temple worthy, church going, a job...or even close to retirement...able to "DO".....a person who is active, not ready to drop at death's door, respectful of women. I'm sure there are other attributes that can be thought of, but basically looking for a nice tall guy.
Many of my friends have offered up brothers....on the sacrificial plate. This is hard too, you don't want to dissapoint the sister, or the brother. The heightened pressure of the "meet" is so weighed with behind the scenes anxiety. Do I measure up, am I worthy of this person that has been bragged upon, what do I wear, what do I say.....the sweat glands.....will they hold off for just a few hours?
I have facebooked, talked, met, perused the photos, heard the stories, oh my gosh, this is SOooo much harder than I remember......and now some of these men really put it all out there....not things I want to see, read or hear. One offered....dinner, drinks, sex. Another had a photo of himself....in a tank top, tatoos...and yes his stainless steel urinal in the back ground....needless to say....I DIDN'T add him to my friends list.....I'm thinking...him being in a jail cell and all....the dating location would NOT prove for a satisfactory "meet".
It is really hard....I DO want "to be swept up", but the chances of that happening now....well now I am thinking maybe "it ain't gonna happen". I did talk to my Dad very candidly.....before he passed away.....thinking that.... he being at death's door from cancer....maybe he would have a closer intuition to my "situation", and he suggested waiting til death, and "one would be provided". I said "you mean live the last 50 years of my life alone....I don't think I can do that"?! He also said "be very very careful"....as he waved his finger at me.....
Now I'm thinking "Dad... send one my way.....please!".
I also talked to two of my previous Boss's down in St. George a few weeks ago. One said "Cindy, you are very resilient"....and the other gave some great advice...he said... to not think of it as trying to meet ALL these men, get off the dating sites (which I will), just go about your life, go to work, do your church callings, go to the Temple, read your scriptures, say your prayers, be with your kids, have your life, don't stress.....you only need ONE man. God knows the wishes of your heart, one will be provided. For all we know a good man is going through a divorce right now, and will be the one for you, we don't know, but live your life, don't worry about meeting all these men, when the time is right, he will be there for you.
I really took everyone's advise to heart....I have been thinking deeply about this for quite a few weeks now. It seems to be my every waking thought, but I will go on, and survive....and so, here I am today living my life, working my three jobs, going to church, doing my callings,hanging out with my kids and trying to do what's right at the right time. And, hopefully I will get swept up one day....by "one man".... who truly madly loves me....hmmmmm an interesting thought!
At this age (which I won't reveal!) it has become very difficult to meet what I will call "worthy" men. It seems that the playing field has shrunk by leaps and bounds. And....being at my height 5'11''....it makes the choices even fewer and far between. I have talked to my friends, explained my situation and wants.....not necessarily a list of looks besides the height factor, but a want list of I feel of normal things that anyone would expect of a partner in life. Stable, kind, loves kids, Temple worthy, church going, a job...or even close to retirement...able to "DO".....a person who is active, not ready to drop at death's door, respectful of women. I'm sure there are other attributes that can be thought of, but basically looking for a nice tall guy.
Many of my friends have offered up brothers....on the sacrificial plate. This is hard too, you don't want to dissapoint the sister, or the brother. The heightened pressure of the "meet" is so weighed with behind the scenes anxiety. Do I measure up, am I worthy of this person that has been bragged upon, what do I wear, what do I say.....the sweat glands.....will they hold off for just a few hours?
I have facebooked, talked, met, perused the photos, heard the stories, oh my gosh, this is SOooo much harder than I remember......and now some of these men really put it all out there....not things I want to see, read or hear. One offered....dinner, drinks, sex. Another had a photo of himself....in a tank top, tatoos...and yes his stainless steel urinal in the back ground....needless to say....I DIDN'T add him to my friends list.....I'm thinking...him being in a jail cell and all....the dating location would NOT prove for a satisfactory "meet".
It is really hard....I DO want "to be swept up", but the chances of that happening now....well now I am thinking maybe "it ain't gonna happen". I did talk to my Dad very candidly.....before he passed away.....thinking that.... he being at death's door from cancer....maybe he would have a closer intuition to my "situation", and he suggested waiting til death, and "one would be provided". I said "you mean live the last 50 years of my life alone....I don't think I can do that"?! He also said "be very very careful"....as he waved his finger at me.....
Now I'm thinking "Dad... send one my way.....please!".
I also talked to two of my previous Boss's down in St. George a few weeks ago. One said "Cindy, you are very resilient"....and the other gave some great advice...he said... to not think of it as trying to meet ALL these men, get off the dating sites (which I will), just go about your life, go to work, do your church callings, go to the Temple, read your scriptures, say your prayers, be with your kids, have your life, don't stress.....you only need ONE man. God knows the wishes of your heart, one will be provided. For all we know a good man is going through a divorce right now, and will be the one for you, we don't know, but live your life, don't worry about meeting all these men, when the time is right, he will be there for you.
I really took everyone's advise to heart....I have been thinking deeply about this for quite a few weeks now. It seems to be my every waking thought, but I will go on, and survive....and so, here I am today living my life, working my three jobs, going to church, doing my callings,hanging out with my kids and trying to do what's right at the right time. And, hopefully I will get swept up one day....by "one man".... who truly madly loves me....hmmmmm an interesting thought!
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
The Movies, a Biker's Dissapointment and a Healing Toddler
I went to my movie theatre job a few weekends ago. I wore my usual "outfit"....they call it the 4 Blacks: Black slacks, black socks, black belt, black shoes. Then depending on which department you work in, you get to wear a purple polo tee, purple button down, black apron, black hat, or a black vest. No earrings larger than a nickel, no piercings, no bracelets etc. The idea is to blend in, not to stand out on your own, to conform to the uniform look, it gives the guest the feeling you are there for them. It also gives you the power to at least look like and make them feel like you know what you are doing. And when they need help, you are easy to recognize.
The concessions...pop corn and drinks & the food court (that's where I started) they get to wear the hat, polo tee and apron. They are definately the hardest workers in the place. I was going to give notice, because it is SO physical it was killing me off every night when I went home....I was DEAD!
So, instead of letting me go, they put me in the box office which I was originally hired for, but there were no openings at the time....What a relief in more ways than one. Now I have the privilege of wearing the purple button down shirt and the black vest....I can have my hair free, NOT pulled back and stuffed under a hat. I am clean when I get home, I don't have shake spray across my front.....I feel a bit more cleaned up shall we say. I felt like possibly I might look a bit better, more human....than the food court area.
We also are the first impression that the guests gets when they come in. We greet, find out what they want, answer questions to where things are. It is great, I even get a stool to sit upon during the slow points of the day.....I LOVE this job now....it is fun...I love the people....I love to visit quickly and send them off to a movie.
It was a Sunday, not my favorite thing to do on the Sabbath, but it is part of the job....just like the hospital, firemen, police, pharmacy.....some places need employees on Sundays, and my boss schedules around my church times, and it's only every third, so not too bad.
Well, it is also a different type of crowd that comes on Sundays.....there is the larger sized crowd who come out cause it is slower not so many people to deal with, the weekend Dads with their kids, the tatoo people, and people who shall we say have "their own style of dressing/and or undressing", vacationers/out of towners, families, people who smell of hangovers, shy folks, the loners/singles, not so much of the dating folks, and the wheel chair people and those who have worked the manual laboring jobs and Sunday is their only day off. Personally I love this crowd, they are more appreciative of a kind word and a happy smile, I want them to feel like they are having a good experience and a fun time out spending hard earned money.
This one particular Sunday a Harley Dude/Biker guy came up, I started with my usual chatter, finding out which movie he wanted to see. He blurted out to me "Do you purposefully dress this way to look unattractive?" I was stunned, hurt, I didn't know what to say? Then he said "Do you do it to turn people off, so no one will hit on you?" I just stood there with my mouth hanging open.....then I said "I'm not sure whether you are insulting me, or giving me a compliment?" Thinking he would say something to set me straight one way or the other. Then he said "You remind me of myself" and he guestured his hands from his shoulders to the floor. I guess I just wasn't getting it? I couldn't tell what he was meaning...I was so dumb founded....so I just said "well what movie do you want to see?" Got his ticket printed out and sent him on his way. After he walked away I felt very verklempt....I had to blink back the tears.....I was working with the two married box office guys, I asked them what they thought, one said he was probably on something. They tried to be kind.
I had taken care of a very cute little family earlier that same evening, the movie they picked wasn't really something a toddler could be entertained by, so later the Mom came back out into the lobby to let her little boy run around. He had waved to me bye-bye when they got the tickets. He saw me again, so I put my arms out to him and he ran up and his Mom lifted him up to me, he gave me a big hug and high fived the other two guys I was working the box office with. I gotta say I REALLY NEEDED THAT! He held on to me for a lovely moment and then back to Mom he went. I was so grateful for the love of that little child to make me feel better about my biker's comment. I gotta say it was very humbling, and I felt horrible for quite a few days later. But, that cute little toddler definately made up for the hurt I was feeling right at that moment when I needed it most!
The concessions...pop corn and drinks & the food court (that's where I started) they get to wear the hat, polo tee and apron. They are definately the hardest workers in the place. I was going to give notice, because it is SO physical it was killing me off every night when I went home....I was DEAD!
So, instead of letting me go, they put me in the box office which I was originally hired for, but there were no openings at the time....What a relief in more ways than one. Now I have the privilege of wearing the purple button down shirt and the black vest....I can have my hair free, NOT pulled back and stuffed under a hat. I am clean when I get home, I don't have shake spray across my front.....I feel a bit more cleaned up shall we say. I felt like possibly I might look a bit better, more human....than the food court area.
We also are the first impression that the guests gets when they come in. We greet, find out what they want, answer questions to where things are. It is great, I even get a stool to sit upon during the slow points of the day.....I LOVE this job now....it is fun...I love the people....I love to visit quickly and send them off to a movie.
It was a Sunday, not my favorite thing to do on the Sabbath, but it is part of the job....just like the hospital, firemen, police, pharmacy.....some places need employees on Sundays, and my boss schedules around my church times, and it's only every third, so not too bad.
Well, it is also a different type of crowd that comes on Sundays.....there is the larger sized crowd who come out cause it is slower not so many people to deal with, the weekend Dads with their kids, the tatoo people, and people who shall we say have "their own style of dressing/and or undressing", vacationers/out of towners, families, people who smell of hangovers, shy folks, the loners/singles, not so much of the dating folks, and the wheel chair people and those who have worked the manual laboring jobs and Sunday is their only day off. Personally I love this crowd, they are more appreciative of a kind word and a happy smile, I want them to feel like they are having a good experience and a fun time out spending hard earned money.
This one particular Sunday a Harley Dude/Biker guy came up, I started with my usual chatter, finding out which movie he wanted to see. He blurted out to me "Do you purposefully dress this way to look unattractive?" I was stunned, hurt, I didn't know what to say? Then he said "Do you do it to turn people off, so no one will hit on you?" I just stood there with my mouth hanging open.....then I said "I'm not sure whether you are insulting me, or giving me a compliment?" Thinking he would say something to set me straight one way or the other. Then he said "You remind me of myself" and he guestured his hands from his shoulders to the floor. I guess I just wasn't getting it? I couldn't tell what he was meaning...I was so dumb founded....so I just said "well what movie do you want to see?" Got his ticket printed out and sent him on his way. After he walked away I felt very verklempt....I had to blink back the tears.....I was working with the two married box office guys, I asked them what they thought, one said he was probably on something. They tried to be kind.
I had taken care of a very cute little family earlier that same evening, the movie they picked wasn't really something a toddler could be entertained by, so later the Mom came back out into the lobby to let her little boy run around. He had waved to me bye-bye when they got the tickets. He saw me again, so I put my arms out to him and he ran up and his Mom lifted him up to me, he gave me a big hug and high fived the other two guys I was working the box office with. I gotta say I REALLY NEEDED THAT! He held on to me for a lovely moment and then back to Mom he went. I was so grateful for the love of that little child to make me feel better about my biker's comment. I gotta say it was very humbling, and I felt horrible for quite a few days later. But, that cute little toddler definately made up for the hurt I was feeling right at that moment when I needed it most!
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