Dating again.....YES....NO........OK...I think I can!!!

I got up at 3:30 a.m. Friday April 29th, 2011 and watched the Royal Wedding of  William and Katharine...it was beautiful and very romantic, you could tell from their lip-read comments to each other that they were VERY in love....and dolefully it reminded me that "Ugh, I'm in the dating scene again".

  At this age (which I won't reveal!) it has become very difficult to meet what I will call "worthy" men.  It seems that the playing field has shrunk by leaps and bounds.  And....being at my height 5'11''....it makes the choices even fewer and far between.  I have talked to my friends, explained my situation and wants.....not necessarily a list of looks besides the height factor, but a want list of I feel of normal things that anyone would expect of a partner in life.  Stable, kind, loves kids, Temple worthy, church going, a job...or even close to retirement...able to "DO".....a person who is active, not ready to drop at death's door, respectful of women.  I'm sure there are other attributes that can be thought of, but basically looking for a nice tall guy.

Many of my friends have offered up brothers....on the sacrificial plate.  This is hard too, you don't want to dissapoint the sister, or the brother.  The heightened pressure of the "meet" is so  weighed with behind the scenes anxiety.  Do I measure up, am I worthy of this person that has been bragged upon, what do I wear, what do I say.....the sweat glands.....will they hold off for just a few hours?

I have facebooked, talked, met, perused the photos, heard the stories, oh my gosh, this is SOooo much harder than I remember......and now some of these men really put it all out there....not things I want to see, read or hear.  One offered....dinner, drinks, sex.  Another had a photo of himself....in a tank top, tatoos...and yes his stainless steel urinal in the back ground....needless to say....I DIDN'T add him to my friends list.....I'm thinking...him being in a jail cell and all....the dating location would NOT prove for a satisfactory "meet".

It is really hard....I DO want "to be swept up", but the chances of that happening now....well now I am thinking maybe "it ain't gonna happen".  I did talk to my Dad very candidly.....before he passed away.....thinking that.... he being at death's door from cancer....maybe he would have a closer intuition to my "situation", and he suggested waiting til death, and "one would be provided".  I said "you mean live the last 50 years of my life alone....I don't think I can do that"?!  He also said "be very very careful"....as he waved his finger at me.....

Now I'm thinking "Dad... send one my way.....please!".

I also talked to two of my previous Boss's down in St. George a few weeks ago.  One said "Cindy, you are very resilient"....and the other gave some great advice...he said... to not think of it as trying to meet ALL these men,  get off the dating sites (which I will), just go about your life, go to work, do your church callings, go to the Temple, read your scriptures, say your prayers, be with your kids, have your life, don't stress.....you only need ONE man.  God knows the wishes of your heart, one will be provided.  For all we know a good man is going through a divorce right now, and will be the one for you, we don't know, but live your life, don't worry about meeting all these men, when the time is right, he will be there for you.

I really took everyone's advise to heart....I have been thinking deeply about this for quite a few weeks now.  It seems to be my every waking thought, but I will go on, and survive....and so, here I am today living my life, working my three jobs, going to church, doing my callings,hanging out with my kids and trying to do what's right at the right time.  And, hopefully I will get swept up one day....by "one man".... who truly madly loves me....hmmmmm an interesting thought!